full of life and joy

Hello my dear support group!!!

Wow, what a journey it has been the last few weeks. I don’t know where to start and I don’t know where to stop. What I can say for sure is I am full of life and joy and embrace you all for being with me all the way. I think when I went in for my brain operation to remove one of the two tumors on May 22nd the world was standing still for a moment. People from Hawaii all the way to New Zealand were thinking of me.

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The few days before I went in, I was wondering and worrying, will everything still be the same when I wake up from my operation. My Mum and me did pyjama shopping and you look at the clothes and wonder, will they still look the same to me when I wake up. I hug and kiss Alwyn and I wonder will he still feel the same; you look at the flowers and the beauty of nature will they still smell the same. You wonder will your senses be the same and what is if not?

In moments like these were nobody can give you an answer you can only pray and hope. Send all your worries and thoughts to the Lord and ask him to please let your life be the same. He heard my prayers, and when I went in on Tuesday at 8 am, I was calm and felt I was on a puffy cloud surrounded by angels when they pushed me into theatre. 2 hours later the operation was done and I woke up in the ICU around 12 pm. And when I saw Alwyn and my Mum and everything was still the same I was the happiest person on earth. I could see, feel, hear, and talk to them. Life is so wonderful!

I had to stay one night in ICU, which was terrible, you don’t get to sleep at all. Just machines and nurses around you the whole time checking on everything. The  next morning Dr. Fisher-Jeffes my Neurosurgeon spoke to me and said I can get out of ICU. I got a room by myself with a wonderful view to Cape town (see slide show) and recovered really quickly. On Thursday they took me of the Catheter and I did my first steps to the toilet. On Friday I had my first little walk and so I continued until they discharged me on Monday. Every day I could feel how strength is getting back to me. I had regular visitors but not too many. Poor Alwyn fell sick that week and had Tonsilitis (Mangelentzündung) but he did so well and was always there but with a mouth guard. My Mum and Alwyn really are a dream team, and since last Friday it is stocked up by my Dad who has arrived as well.

I received lots of cards, presents, phone calls and flowers during my stay. The staff and everyone was really friendly and helpful. But I couldn’t wait to be back home and to see my little Ms. Tipsy! It was so nice to come back. It took me a few days to adapt, because you have all the ringing bells in the back of your ears from the hospital, as well as the smell and you get woken up so often because of so many check ups I still struggle to fall into deep sleep until now. But I have so many ideas and things floating in my head which I want to do and I read an inspiring book from Louise L. Hay ” You can heal your life” which give me so much power, I am thriving day by day.

I also changed my eating habits, having a highly rich Anti-Oxidant diet, detoxifying my liver and lymphnodes and leaving out wheat and sugar for the moment. I got together with my Oncologist and a Nutrition expert / Ernährungsexpertin and we worked out a good strategy for me. But since I can not live without chocolate I did a research on the Internet and found some lovely raw organic chocolate, which is sweetend with aguave nectar. If you love dark chocolate this really is devine and so yummy. Have a look at http://www.honestchocolate.co.za . You can eat it with a good conscience, since it has no fat, no sugar and is rich in anti-oxidants. Today I made myself a lovely hot chocolate as well, added a bit of Vanilla to it… hmmmmm. My friends surprised me with a lovely smoothie maker too, when I got home, so I make sure I  eat stacks of fruit and veg every day, especially green ones are really good.

Yesterday I started my first session of radiation on my brain. It is quick, the whole process takes 15 Min. Each side of my brain gets radiated for only 45 sec. Today I had my second one and tomorrow will be my third. I will have a break until next week, in again from Mon-Fri and then another two sessions after that. I will have a break for a week and will then continue with Chemo. It is not going to be the red devil one, it will be a different one. They got the histology of my brain tumor and they confirmed it is breast cancer which is a good sign, that I do not have a different type of cancer.

At the moment I have a feeling I won’t need the chemo anymore, once I am finished with radiation. I feel so radiant and feel I can kill the cancer with mind power, my anti-oxidant diet, and with help from the Lord. I will go in for scans before I start the new Chemo and I wonder what the results will be like. According to them I will decide how I will continue. I feel so positive and powerful it is incredible.

I do take a lot more time for myself now and it does me so well.

On the one side I wish myself, my family and all of you wouldn’t have to go through all of this, but on the other side what I have experienced and learnt about myself since I have been diagnosed with breast cancer is something I do not want to miss out on.

Love you all lots like jelly tots! There is much more to come…..


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7 Responses to full of life and joy

  1. andrea theo says:

    liebe helen, freue mich wahnsinnig – deine reise ist ja kaum in worte zu fassen, aber du findest mal wieder genau die richtigen hier, bleib weiter so wie du bist, du schaffts es!

  2. Vicky says:

    Dear Helen, you are awesome that is all I can say. I have prayed for you the whole time and you are always in my thoughts.

    You are a real inspiration, in a time that a special woman in my life needs it a lot! I can only tell my family about this wonderful woman going through a very trying time with the most fantastic attititude and amazing faith.

    I truelly believe you are blessed and that the blessing spills over to everyone you come into contact with.


  3. you go girl! the world is smiling because it feels your energy!!! sending lots of love from europe down to the cape!

  4. sarah says:

    my beauti-full helen
    your joy and energy radiates out of this page and i am ecstactic to hear of the journey you are on. See if your mum can get ‘green for life’ by victoria boutenko too. Amazon sells it…will help the fruit smoothie machine help you! Joining the floods of love that are enveloping you on your journey of re-discovery…sing out if you need anything. In fact, please give me your number so i can call you xxxx

  5. Aygül Özkan says:

    Du bist eine Ausnahmeerscheinung! Das ist genau richtig, was du machst. Als wir telefonierten hatten wir u. a. über die Ernährung und die mentale Kraft der Heilung gesprochen. Mach weiter so, oder anders ausgedrückt: devam, devam. Du bist und bleibst die “Harder, Hardest Helen”. Ich bin stolz auf dich. Dicke Umarmung von Aygüle-Gül

  6. Alwyn says:

    I love you so much my engel. It is so amazing to see what the Lord has done in your life. You are healed by His stripes.

  7. Kristina Krause says:

    WOW Helen, du rockst! Bin mal wieder super inspiriert und beeindruck von deiner Einstellung…krieg jedes mal Gänsehaut und nen riesen boost of energy wenn ich deine Einträge lese, weiter so, kein Zweifel: Da kommt noch jede Menge!!!!!

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