I had my scan this week and unfortunately the results weren’t as good as I had hoped. Basically no big changes, some of the lesions have decreased and new ones appeared, so that volume wise it is still the same. After suffering so much more, compared to the other two chemos I have had, I was hoping at least that the bad boys are getting a big kick now. But it is still early days my Oncologist said, I have only been on this chemo for 6 weeks. So we decided to carry on for another 4 weeks and I will go for scans again beginning of September.
My last two weeks have been quite up and down health wise. One day I feel fine, next day I am nausea and dizzy, or I have diarrohea, stomach cramps, skin irritation etc. I had to finish my last cycle of chemo a bit earlier because my handpalms and soles of my feet were getting really red and sore. I wanted to pull it through until the end of the cycle, and actually made it a lot worse. My Oncologist told me I should have reported much earlier. So now here I am still recovering from the side effects. Luckily I can walk again, I had a couple of days were I hardly made it to the toilet because of the pain. Appetite loss is another big factor. Can you actually believe it, me, Helen Harder, not feeling hungry?? I can’t, but it is true. You can not even tempt me with chocolate at the moment. Instead I do drink funny things like Lemonade, which I never been very keen on before. I really have to force myself to eat. But hey, as long as it doesn’t last very long and I am loosing a few kilos before my wedding, it is fine.
Depending on my blood results tomorrow I will start my 3rd cycle on Friday. We have lowered the dosage of my tablets a little, now it will be only 14 tablets instead of 18 which I take throughout the day. I will also have a “Write and publish your own book” workshop on Friday which I am looking forward to. Just hope my health won’t let me down and I have to cancel it, but since today I feel a lot better.
I must admit though, when I saw the results on Monday I was pretty down. It is always this: “hanging in there”, “stay focused”, “don’t give up” attitude which you need. And I have a lot it but sometimes you just wish you can just let go of it and have a break. My breaks are normally a day or two were I don’t feel well, am angry and disappointed, cry and shout and then I get back to “normal” and fighting action again. I know these days are as important for me as well as the fighting ones.
My parents are about to leave next week after nursing me the last 3 months and spoiling Alwyn and me with taking care of household, cooking, shopping, walking Ms. Tipsy etc. It will be difficult to adjust without them. They have been a tremendous help! Where would we be without our parents! Thanks Mum and Dad for the wonderful, unique parents you are!!
Another big thank you goes to my friend Silke Hansen. Silke works at my former employer GIZ in Pretoria and flew down on 21st July to Cape town together with her friend Rebekka to run a half marathon for me. She made it in 1hr and 55 min.! I am so proud of you Silke and Rebekka! At least I could wave to you out of the car and embrace you later at the finish line. Silke got a lot of sponsors and donated more than € 1100 for me. Thank you to all my former colleagues and Silke’s friends and family. Some don’t even know me. Again, I have no words… I am so grateful for all the people who think and support me.
Alrighty, I better finish now. I have an appointment for my wedding cake today, which is much more important to me than my wedding dress 😉 Can’t wait to indulge myself into the cake. Just hope my taste buds will be back to normal then!