Chemo no. 5 coming up

One week after our wedding I had to go for chemo again and shortly after that for my next scans. Unfortunately it showed that Chemo no. 4 did not have an impact on my cancer, in fact it is growing and spreading further and I now have also got Metastases in my lungs.

What can I say? We all sat in the doctor’s room and took it with composure, although wanting to explode. Why are these terrible bad boys not getting the message to leave my body immediately? What do I have to do to finally get rid of them? How do they even dare to keep on growing and spreading? Who do they think they are, invading my body, making me sick and mine, my family and friends souls fullfil with sorrow?

After having the most incredible past 6 weeks, with most of my family and friends around sharing Alwyn and my special day, feeling like I am on top of the world, being married to the most wonderful man on earth, I thought we showed them a lot of teeth flashing and positive attitude to scare them away.

But obviously this is not enough. So now it is finally time for the red devil chemotherapy to come. My oncologist also said she hopes this is the magical bullet. We have to take the next step and keep on fighting, keep on believing. I know God is a healer and I plead to him to finally heal me for good. As you might remember I said in my blog beginning of the year: 2012 is going to rock, and so far we have, with a few ups and downs in between. But I would like to finish it with a rocket, in fact with a shooting star. So please help and pray for me that this is going to happen.

The red devil is suppose to be very hard on your body. But as usual: everybody reacts differently. Yet again, I keep on praying I handle this well and won’t get too sick. I may not loose more weight, I have already lost 20kg since May. But it is so difficult to eat when you feel nausea. Luckily once it is all out I can eat again, and actually do feel hungry too.The possibility for me to loose hair for the 3rd time is also quite high. And again side effects like appetite loss and sense disorders can occur.

I will be able to handle it all, if I know I can board the plane on December 14th back home. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo longing to go back home. My oncologist said she will prepare me well for it so I can enjoy my three weeks in Germany, England and Austria. It is Alwyn’s and mine honeymoon and the last week we are going to go sking with our friends to thoroughly enjoy the winter and the snow.

With the wonderful wedding weekend we have had, I can tell you I am still very blessed and happy. It has been an unforgetable weekend as the photos and video show. I hope you have all been able to see it, if not take a look at my last two blogs for the links. Amazing what endorphines can do with your body, we danced till 3 am in the morning, which I haven’t done in ages.

I will update you all as soon as I can, until then………… live the life you love, love the life you live!

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14 Responses to Chemo no. 5 coming up

  1. Gerda says:

    Ek bid…

  2. Nikki says:

    this WILL be the magic bullet my dear friend. I am so amazed at your ability to get up after being knocked down and give it your all, all over again. I thank my lucky stars that our paths crossed and that we’re both here fighting together. love you madly xo

  3. Tonny Mundia says:

    Tonny Mundia (Ritz)
    Lots of love and greetings I might be invisble but deaply praying for you, and Iam sure you will come out a winner, Iam convinced that this is amagic bullet and the bad boys gonna get defeated.
    I can see you smilling , I can see you laughing I can see you joking I can , I can ,I can, I can ,,,,,,,,,,!!!!!:

  4. tph says:

    Onwards and Upwards

  5. caroline tarry says:

    Hey beautiful cousin.Keep on fighting those bad boys i’m with you all the way.Sending you positive thoughts and reiki all the way.Love you.Big hugs caroline.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  6. Hi Helen am so sorry to hear all this. I survived four Red Devils (Adriamycin) and Cyclophosphomides combined and was never nauseous. You do get extraordinarily tired. Please take care of yourself and focus on getting well. X Alicia

  7. Lori says:

    My liefste Helen, Mrs B 🙂 miss you and love you and here for you every step of the way! Keep that wonderful honeymoon as target through this tough time to come, it will all be worth it! Blessings my liefste vriendin, dink aan jou, altyd! Groot vet soene xxxx

  8. Annie says:

    All hope and love coming your way! That aside I would like to say you made a gorgeous and beautiful bride! I loved the dress, the head scarf looked incredible and very retro, the setting was incredible and all the touches added to your very wonderful and emotional day! Wow! I am sending all my positive energy to you on your next chapter and wish you a long and happy marriage x
    Love to you
    Annie Puckle ( friend of your brother Thomas) x

  9. Chrissi says:

    Wir denken an dich liebe Helen.. Wir haben keine Zweifel, dass du das schaffst! Here comes the shooting star.
    Soentjies en drukkies!! Gian, Kilian & Christina

  10. Johanna Honeyborne says:

    what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. whatever happens, your are stronger than you imagine… you can kick cancer’s butt!!! god bless, Xxxjohanna

  11. Leonie says:

    I missed you yesterday,I pray for you and know you will get through the Red Devil again, hope to see you soon. Leonie from the Biedouw tea.

  12. Hel-Bell!! I’m sure the Red Devil and the Devil from Rendsburg together will kick those buggers ass. When they fight back, well then you fight even HARDER back. And together with the 5-Star-Sivler-Cross- General Badenhorst you guys make a tag team no force of evil can stand against. Big hug and kisses from Paris to Somerset West Downtown South Central!!!

  13. Alwyn says:

    Hi my lief. God is our healer. And by His stripes you are healed. There are so many people thinking of you and praying or you . You will make it . You are such a amazing person, friend and wife. I love you so much. God is great.

  14. Stefanie Neitz says:

    Liebe Helen,
    ich wünsch Dir alles gute und bin in Gedanken bei Dir. Ich wünsch Dir ganz viel Kraft. Du warst die hübscheste Braut die ich je gesehen habe. Denke oft an unsere Zeit im Ritz zurück. Lass Dich aus der Ferne umarmen…XXX Steffi

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